凌晨两点,城市像一截断掉的电缆,零星迸着几点微弱火花,雨丝砸在柏油路上,晕开一片片冷湿的印子。M拖着“他”往厂区走,鞋缝里灌进的雨水,每一步都浸得骨头发疼。那座偶像加工场立在夜色里,铁门上的锈迹爬得密密麻麻,门楣的霓虹却亮得执拗,在雨雾中碎成斑驳的光,写着:
“欢迎携带任何空洞,我们提供永久保固。”
警卫室的灯蒙着灰,玻璃上贴张泛黄的纸,字迹是M的,很久之前写下的,如今淡得快要看不清:
“今日值班:你自己。”
M垂眼,瞥了瞥身侧的“他”。从前多风光啊,七千萬个赞,七千萬次转发,那些攒动的光亮,像七千萬尾发光的鱼,在无数个失眠的夜里,游过陌生人的荒原,替他们接住无处安放的期待。可几小时前,聚光灯骤然炸开,直播镜头裂成蛛网,“他”眼眶里的色粉簌簌往下掉,露出生硬的塑膠支架,连嘴角那道固定的弧度,都崩出了细缝。人群哗地散了,快得像潮水退去,没人记得谁是缔造者,没人管这具残骸的去处,只剩M,弯腰把碎片拢起,指尖触到那冰凉的塑膠时,像摸到自己被生生撕下的半张脸皮——那是这些年,一点点贴在“他”脸上,又一点点从自己脸上剥走的。
输送带还在缓缓转,轰鸣声裹着潮湿的空气,竟有几分像老房子里的摇籃曲,M从前总听着这声音熬夜改人设,改到天光微亮。他把“他”轻轻推上去,指尖顿了顿,终究还是按了墙上的红钮。红灯亮起,机器手臂缓缓舒展,动作优雅,却带着不容置疑的冷硬。先捏住“他”的声带,那是用无数大众期待,一絲一縷绞成的金属弦,拔下来时,脆响一声,M忽然想起自己年轻时,也爱唱歌,后来再没开过口;再一层层剥外皮,喷漆的善良、模压的正義、調配的甜蜜,落在地上,碎成粉末,风一吹,呛得M咳了两声——那些特质,从前他也有,后来都封进了“他”的壳里;最后,鏟刀探进“他”的胸腔,掏出那颗标着“永不熄滅”的小太陽,不过是颗裹着漆的充电电池,贴纸边角卷着,上面的名字清晰:M。是他亲手贴的,那时想着,要让这颗“心”,替自己亮一辈子。
粉碎声轰然炸开,闷沉的,远得像海嘯,漫过整座工厂的角落。可M却在这滔天嘈杂里,清晰听见了自己的心跳——咚、咚,沉穩,篤定,隔着肋骨,隔着岁月的尘,一下一下,无比真切。原来这颗心,从来没被装进过任何规整的盒子,没被任何虚幻的光環盖过,原来这些年,不是它不跳了,是他忙着听“他”的声音,忙着看“他”的光亮,早忘了自己也有心跳。这工厂最毒的伎倆,从来不是批量造偶像,是让每个造神的人,在打磨完美他者的日子里,慢慢弄丢了自己。
输送带尽头,新的“他”正在成形。原料换了,不再是流水线的模板,是M的沉默,是他藏了半世的懺悔,是那些没说出口的委屈,没来得及偿还的悲傷,一点点浇筑成骨,塑成形。手臂、軀幹、瞳孔,一一归位,严丝合缝,只剩胸腔正中,空着一块,像个洞。机器提示音漫上来,温温柔柔的,裹着电流的颤,是M自己录的音,此刻听着,陌生得像别人的话:
“請放入您的真實心率,以確保新商品能永久吸引同類。”
M垂眸看向自己的胸口,抬手按了按,肋骨硌着手心,像兩扇敞開的抽屜,裡頭那颗心,粗糙,带着旧疤,会疼,会慌,会在深夜里缩成一团,伸手就能取出来。可他忽然停住了。这些年,他替“他”填了无数回心,填了期待,填了人设,填了所有人想要的样子,到最后,“他”碎了,只剩他自己。若把这颗心交出去,下次镜头再碎,下次“他”再塌,这世上,还有谁会弯腰,把狼狈的M,把连心跳都没了的M,轻轻捡起来?
M往后退了一步,脚下沾着的粉末簌簌掉了,又退一步,警鈴驟然大作,刺耳的鸣响掀翻了工厂的死寂。流水線彻底停摆,齿轮卡着,发出刺耳的摩擦声,天花板的水泥块簌簌往下掉,尘土紛揚,落在M的肩上,落在半成品的脸上,像一场遲了太久的審判,终于落下来了。
M转身就跑,脚步踉跄,却不敢停。穿过无尽长廓,廊壁上还贴着旧海报,是“他”最风光时的样子,笑得多完美;穿过堆滿廢棄讚美的倉庫,那些烫金的字句,如今涼得像冰,硌着M的脚踝。身後,半成品通了电,滋啦滋啦的电流声里,混着模糊的音節,像在喚“父親”,带着依赖,又像在罵“凶手”,裹着怨怼。M的脚步顿了半秒,终究没回头——他欠“他”的,欠自己的,这辈子都还不清,可他不能再留了。
鐵門被撞开的瞬间,雨停了。风裹着清冽的气,扑在M的脸上,凉得他打了个颤。東方的天際線,裂開一道縫,没有曙光,没有暖色,没有任何光亮,只是一條淺淺的、無色的痕,像一個拆到一半,被丟在路边的包裝盒,露着里面空落落的芯。
M沿着那道縫往前跑,风灌进喉咙,灌进胸口,他听见自己的心跳,越来越响,越来越有力,盖过了身后的轰鸣,盖过了过往的喧嚣。那心跳不用说话,M却听得清清楚楚:
往后余生,不必再替谁发光,不必再藏起自己,可那些造过的梦,丢过的自己,会一辈子追着他。
恭喜,你已被自己通緝,有效期,餘生。
选自《巢圣微型小说集》
Back to Factory
At two a.m. the city is a severed cable, still sparking.
I drag him through the rain to the yard—an idol plant grafted out of human hearts.
The gate is rusted shut, yet the neon sign keeps its promise:
ANY VOID WELCOME – LIFETIME WARRANTY.
The guard booth is empty. A single note on the glass:
“On duty today: yourself.”
I look down at him.
Once he owned seventy million glowing likes, seventy million fish of light swimming the dark for us.
Then a lens cracked on live stream; pigment spilled from his pupils, baring plastic struts.
The crowd scattered like pigeons.
I—his creator, manager, only casualty—pick up the remains, as if retrieving my own torn-off face.
The conveyor still hums, lullaby-soft.
I lay him on the belt, press the red wall-button.
Robot arms uncoil His vocal cord—an alloy string of public expectations.
They skin him next: coats of spray-on kindness, justice, honey.
Last, a scoop dives into his chest and fishes out the “eternal sun”—a rechargeable battery labelled with my name.
The shredder roars like a distant tsunami.
Inside the roar I hear my own heart: thump, thump—
never boxed, never haloed.
I understand: the plant’s cruelest design is not making gods, but making makers forget they too can beat.
At the far end a new him is already taking shape—
forged from my silence, my repentance, my unpaid grief.
Torso, arms, irises click into place.
Only the cardiac slot stays open.
A gentle prompt:
“Insert your real heart-rate to guarantee perpetual attraction.”
I peer at my ribs, drawers half-open.
To donate that scarred, aching, stubborn muscle would be easy—
yet who will collect me when this new product cracks?
I step back. One step. Another.
An alarm howls; the line halts on “heart missing.”
Ceiling panels collapse like a delayed verdict.
I run.
Through corridors, through warehouses once stuffed with applause,
I run while the half-born thing crackles Father… murderer… behind me.
I don’t turn.
Outside, rain has stopped. A slit opens in the east—
not dawn, just colourless cardboard being torn.
I race along that tear, listening to the heart re-install itself inside my ribs.
Its first reboot-message:
“Congratulations—
you are now wanted by yourself.
Validity: the rest of your life.”
from Chao’s Micro-Fictions